it's been......

It's been 4 days since I got into Oregon....
weather is as usual, cold and wet....
can't really go out much.....
been watchin movies in the room most of the time...

It's been 4 days since I last look at my work.....
work progress is still as normal...
can't really get much excitement.....
been struggling to see whether should I change job...

It's been 4 days since I haven't talked to her...
she is still as cool as always....
can't really expect much.....
been hopin that she would reply my email....

finally....

Feb, 17th... finally, I fell sick today.....
This time is real sick.. and NOT HOME sick nor LOVE sick... It's time to force the engine to take a break for a bit before needing to revamp the whole system....
No worries.. at all... it's just some skin allergy to not sure what virus.... and causing rashes over my wholebody.... Don't feel any fever nor other significant symtoms which indicates I need to call off my trip to San Diego yet on this coming weekend. But head seems to feel a little more load added. Other than that I think I should be fine....

Talking about vacation... I can't recall when was my last vacation at all. Perhaps after living for more than a year in US I didn't travel much at all. Reason? I think I have been putting lots of effort and time in my work. During weekdays my car won't detour me from my stand routing to office, except stopping by snatch a cup of 'xing ba ke ==> starbucks in mandarin' coffee along the way to office....

You know what... I have been thinking about this.... Ideally, a sick person would decide to go for a doc right away from now. But look at me still speculating whether.....
1) Should I be going for a doc now or after the meeting at 9am...(which is 45mins away from NOW)...
2) Should I be working from home today..... or completely put my pager, and laptop away due to chef not in the mood today...
3) Should I be .........
4) Should I......

Hmmmm........ I guess.. I am more worry abt my work then my personal health.... Well, HECK it... I am going for my morning 'xing ba ke' coffee now... then meeting.. then DOC....

Hopefully, this red itchy thingy will leave my body alone... after today....

5th day of Chinese New Year......

Happy New Year....!! I guess this year is no different from last year, where I am aparted from my family for this special occasion. Hopefully next year will be better.... This year turn out to be tougher than last. Temperory away for work is not too hard to handle if we look at the brighter side of it, but the toughest is being separated for good.

As usual, I would call up my parents for a quick 10mins update on how am I doing, is everything going ok.... and talk about what's my next week activity. And surely, mom will start nagging me not to work too hard, take some rest, and eat something good. If really bored then go out with friends.... So, i guess this time we also discuss about visiting my grandma which I haven't seen for 5 years... I failed to make a trip back to Johor to see her since we last met..... Sad to say, i don't have to do this anymore for the rest of my life. She finally passed away on 5th day of chinese new year..... Found out from my parents late last night.... Sad and tear swamped me for couple of hours...... Finally decided to open up the bottle of red wine and have a few sip to make me tired abit.... and finally got knocked off at 4am....

One good expensive lesson i learnt out of it is, don't wait, and keep postponing plans....
* If you LOVE someone go ahead and confess to her don't wait..... let her know what u can offer her....
* Spend some good quality time with parents and siblings as much as possible......
* If possible try to listen what mom wanted to say..... they may not be right, but she just want us to listen....
* Try to be home early for dinner, deprioritize friends' outing and work if possible......
* Plan a family outing at least once a year to save some good memory before too late..... cause there is no "pause" option in time......

I LOVE YOU GRANDMA... AND MAY GOD BE WITH YOU..!

Year 2005 Mission....

It's a brand new year, and of course it is too late to close the unaccomplished item for year 2004.... I guess most people should have already thought of what are their plan is for year 2005, be it from career, relationship, or investment, and same goes here.

1. Take a visit to OSU, and Third place.....
2. Safe RM50k for nuptials fund.....
3. Buy a small hut for two.....
4. Make a special birthday card....
5. Learn to play keyboard or cello.....
6. Job wise I guess it will be too boring to share... but definitely don't like to be BOSS....

Goodbye Penang.....

Hallo.. all bloggers, and blog readers...!! How are you all doing?
Time really flies....
Today is my last day Penang, after being back for few weeks vacation, and now it's time for me to pack and go....
Wishing you all belated Merry Xmas, and Happy New Year..!! ;)

Earthquake in Sumatera, Tidal Wave In Penang.....

Hallo... all readers.....!! It's Xmas time... and it's suppose to be a happy and joyful season...
After hiking this morning, went to airport, and on the way to Gurney Plaza, the traffic is JAMMED as usual, which i thought that I was smart enough not to drive there.
After walking in the shopping mall, I realized there was tidal wave happened earlier in the morning..... and lots of damages done, ppl died, injured, and lost...... Since then, i haven't been able to breath properly.... my heartbeat hasn't able to beat in a consistent paste. And during dinner time, I didn't have appetite at all.... I tried to understand, what went wrong with me.... and I realized that I actually miss and worry about her, tremendously. She is now not around... and i realized that life is too short.... and I am really getting worry over her and myself, because I do not know what will happen after today..... No one knows exactly when it will come again... and will it be worst than today....??

The Phantom of The Opera

Lately, I jsut realized that The Phantom of The Opera movie is now showing everywhere. This is my all time favorite musical show. I have watched the musical show 2 times in Melbourne, Australia, and once in Singapore.

There are several songs in the whole opera that really touches inside me....
All I ask of you... (Raoul + Christine)
Raoul keeps offering himself to protect christine...
Raoul sings...
"I'm here nothing can harm you, my words will warm and calm you....."
"I'm here with you besides you, to guard you and to guide you......"

But Christine responded with asking for comfirmation..
"Say you love me every waking moment......"
"Say you need me with you, now and always......"

Then Raouls came back to offer more......
"Let me be your shelter, let me be your light.
You're safe:No-one will find you, your fears are far behind you...."

Christine replied...
"All I want is freedom, a world with no more night.......
and you always besides me to hold me and to hide me....."

So, you can see.... how much Raoul would really like to offers himself to Christine...
Same here, this Malaysian Raoul also would like to offer himself to someone.......but Christine has no response yet......

But of course, Phantom get hurts tremendously.. and screamed....
"I give you my music..... "

I really would like to watch this movie with someone special before having to leave this country again.... I have reserved a spare time for this movie with someone that I really wish to be with. Hopefully, it will come true..... that would be my final wish for the Year 2004.

MINE

Winter Season Performance....

Finally, my assignment has come to an end. Obviously there are things to be happy and sad about. I have fallen for this place. There are so much memory to carry home after being out here for a year.

The most happy, and looking forward event in this final week is my choir winter season performance. This may well be my last time joing the bass line, which produces a shocking & vibrating low voices, like a double bass. Although most of the time, our choir is singing Spanish repertoires, which i can't understand a damn word in it.... but I do enjoy the composition of A Capella..... The mix of 8 voices with a perfect pitch chord right at the end of the music makes the song sounded really grand, and full with space...... Try to imagine a pipe organ holding the last long note, C, E, G, in a church or concert hall..... I am just speechless at that moment.

Two of the repetoires in our concert is Ave Maria by Franz Biebl, and OMagnum Mysterium by Morten Lauridsen...

I would love to invite those of my friends to enjoy this Xmas repertoires... There are just too wonderful to be described in words... but feel it...
We, musician... always feel the music, rythm, and pulses... those are our guide to play/sing music......

Good Bye!!